When we went out for Dawn's birthday to a place called Samba
(which sounded like dancing and laughter, actually endless meat and potatoes)
we went to a bar afterwards
(which, being called the Knuckledown, sounded like a fighting joint and was owned by a Warrior)
and a man played his guitar.
It was there, that guitar, for a human problem
(open microphone was cancelled, which was a shame)
and his grittily sweet voice paraded over empty air
(which was silent, except for devoted drunkards, who cheered)
and I missed being Queen again.
I wanted to wave my hand and shower him with riches, as before
and smile and have him awarded gifts, and joke with him.
I wanted his heart, not just his voice and remembered chords
(which, if you heard them and like Texas Rock, you would probably like a lot)
but I could get nothing.
Oh, he eyed me of course, and smiled a southern boy's smile
(which I liked more than gifts)
and spoke to Katie's sister
(which I liked considerably less, and now which makes sense, having looked at her).
I wanted all those people to have my protection, my love, be protected by my law
(which is as close to selfless as this gets).
They won't be again.
My Kingdom is empty now, my Alisare, it's Council-seats unclaimed
and it's revels, bright and full of color, are just as sad.
The Kingdom, broken by a madman's hammer
(which struck a madwoman's heart)
and I an in exile from a home
(which is no more, no more at all).
There is no atonement needed, for doing the right thing
(which makes sense)
But I regret that mercy, and endlessly so
(which is like Gavriel's "endlessly, I regret it - if you didn't catch it).
I want to go home to a home that isn't.
I want to go back to a place that is gone
(which is vanished, like daylight, like comets or snow).
And I am a ghost for these haunts, and these wishes:
(which makes me human)
I will never be the Queen again
(which is to be water, the tide and the time)--
I said thank-you to him, instead, and a drunkard bought him a drink, and I went home--
to no revel--
and slept in my bed, too early
(which, I suppose, is right).
