Wild: Carmilla

An endless twist of limbs and secrets,

From the vampire called Carmilla.

And you, so foolish as to assume her villainy,

have slain a huntress fair.

Yet to the silvered moon she went,

Her footsteps light on forest turf,

Hunting maidens pure

Her sharp teeth drowning in blood and desire

That was probably matched by the ladies.

To ask for your life wasn’t enough.

Cordially, you eat your pittance of meats and sigh of her evil;

She of the raven’s wing hair and blood-tint’d lips

But I, who have seen man commit more hastily to evils less deserved,

I would have spared her.

I would have begged sharp teeth to my white skin,

Have parted my buckwheat hair away from my slender neck and sighed;

There is no greater pleasure than the sacrifice of blood and passion.

I have always thought it thus;

My conclusion fails to surprise me.

Rather, I think that for all the mercy I would have shown,

She was careless in her hunting, faithless in her selection

No more than Cattle for the slaughter, mindless in rows for her blood and milk.

Hunting takes much skill and pleasure,

Not receiving only, but giving it

Making victims enjoy what they offer you

As you languish in the bitter taste of death,

And know I love you violently.

Yes, I understand Carmilla,

I follow blood and love and magic,

Hunted for my wild-sown heart—

But I cannot believe that of you.

You, who treasure the tale so valiantly as to rend it immortal in song and verse,

You are more invested than I,

the humble white witch in God’s service, whispering to tap water,

missing the ocean fiercely, praying to the wild white moon.

The part of me that isn’t so humble,

That part is impressed—

And most concerned.

If Tana longed, so secretively, furtively,

For raven’s-wing hair and sharp teeth as white as milk,

And I long for a little breath of god,

 to help my friends and right such wrongs as He permits—

What do you want?

The obvious answer is hidden among the threads of vanity, and old words,

And the possibility of a careless choice.

You, my friend, are under no obligation to tell me,

But, with the Vampire’s breath on my neck,

And the moon, shining like a savage unto my heart,

Compelling me—

I may ask you, when the time is right.

We will see.

wild: totally at the beach, bro

unlimited fake kinetic sand, a sound-soother with ocean noises

Hopefully nobody comes in....

http://livingithaca.com/diy/make-kinetic-sand/

Wild: Angry

"

person who made this post

6 grains o' sand · 

ugh my stomach is sick of all these videos posting between cops and people who have been "wrongly accused". i mean yes there are times when tempers are thrown. but if everyone would just keep calm and answer calmly and just respect officers doing their job...maybe they wouldnt be so on edge...maybe they wouldnt get so afraid that you are gonna pull a gun out on them and they wont get to see their families again. just every body please take a breath and relax. tthey just wanna keep us safe.

so on today i wanna thank not just the people that fight over see or here on our home ground. for putting up with immaturity and making sure families are reuinited every night saftely with their loved ones. especially when this winter weather is coming."

Somebody--a friend of mine on Facebook--posted this today. And I am so angry that I don't even know where to START. Firstly, she, like me, is Caucasian--she's never been racially oppressed or judged in her life. Secondly, she has made the leap from "wow, some people have been hurt by police officers" to "well maybe if they weren't so fucking immature and just did what was asked of them, they wouldn't have gotten hurt". That's the same thing as arguing a woman deserved to be raped because she wore a short skirt--it's not cool. It's wrong. She is absolutely, incontrovertibly wrong. 

So I wrote back. I shouldn't have; she had a break-up today, but.... equality is one step at a time. It's belief. I confess it, right here and now: I had to go out of my way to conquer my (almost entirely unconscious) behavior around African American people. It took about a month of smiling at strangers, no matter their race, and talking to them and learning to love them. I'm fine now. I had to recognize it was a problem--and it hurts me very bitterly to admit that it was--and grow the fuck up. All Americans are good Americans; I hope I can say that I had to push aside the behaviors I was raised with. It's so slight, the tiny things that add up and amount in Racism--but we have to make that effort. We owe it to our countrymen and countrywomen to do this, we owe it to all human beings to do this... and it disgusts me that there's such overwhelming denial that this is a thing. 

Here's what I wrote back:

"Okay....I know you're having a bad day, but this really bothered me and I had to talk to you about it. It isn't an issue of maturity, Molly. It's an issue of Racism and poor judgment in some of our police officers. I'm certainly not saying that all of those people acted fairly, but that's a two-way street. The idea is that acts of Racism aren't fair; it can be as an unwarranted set of suspicions based on skin color. It can be as simple as blowing things out of proportion in your head because the other party involved is another race, one that has earned a "stigma" of dishonesty, and shooting him. For those people, people who, unlike you and I, belong to those races and really do deal with this on a day-to-day basis, it absolutely IS an every day fear. Will white oppression, which is very much alive today, end up killing someone today? Will a young boy or girl be shot for walking home in the dark? It's a thing they have to live with. You and I, we'll never have to "deal" with that level of... judgment. So, in closing, I get that there are irresponsible members on both ends of that spectrum... but this post made it sound, very much, like you blame the "wrongly accused" people. Which bothered me. I'm sorry, I just really wanted to say something about this."

We all have to do our part for tolerance... 

That was mine.  That, and being unable do delete this annoying-ass heart emoji that she had at the end of her post. 

 heart emoticon

wild:

I watched a movie with spies and seduction and beauty so raw it was painful. I came home, the music singing out of my hands, to find company, friendship, waiting for me. I drank elder-flowers and vodka and champagne, one after the other, heedless of the consequences. I sank into the voice my Roses bore once. I tried to sing and found the world was too busy dancing to care much.

Those moments--when I shake the cobwebs off my rattled life, and raise my pale-blooded head high--they are the reason that I move forward. The next time I lack confidence, I have only to draw on it, to touch that night and revere it, like a prayer or a worry stone.


I am tired of being ordinary, so I shook that off, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jzDnsjYv9A


That'll work.

wild: ainsel

Today, I make a promise to myself: I will recover what I cast away, for I have learned its worth. I will learn the whisper in the trees and the touch of the water, and the big white moon. I will love wildly again, but with moderation--I will learn. I will pray with a fierceness my big heart can match; I will make beautiful things and offer them to the world.

That's what different: I know more about the world now, how it works and how people are. Some of them don't need me, but some do--and I will do all I can to help them.

I will make art. I will make magic. I will conquer my fears and be just, a Knight, like Hazel.


Her wee walnut was right, I think; it is much too late for regrets.







But, for all my promises, I still have them.