Wild: Tumblr

The longer I'm on Tumblr, the more confused I get. I mean, I identify with a pretty big number of these people on certain things. However, they're - to put it blatantly?- rude. If someone is being rude, or judging you, or whatever, shouting and screaming and being violent about them probably isn't going to change that person's mind about whatever the issue is. Just because (that person) is being awful doesn't excuse *you* being awful to *them*. I mean, is it okay to be angry when you're being judged? Absolutely.
Is it okay to react to that anger *by judging the other person?*


I think they're missing the point.

Sexism, for example. Take a joke as a joke, particularly when it comes from a joker. Yes, there are inappropriate jokes. Possibly jokes you disagree with. Get over it. There are people who legitimately disagree with whatever perception you have about what is, and is not, preferable. I'm sorry, but again, all you can do is provide your opinion of the situation. If you're calm and reasonable, dare I say tactful, and their rebuttal is still brutal, well, rally the flag. You've still done the right thing, and that other person has merely underlined your point in most examples. But if they continually disagree with you, and you get incensed, it just looks "unprovoked" to the people who are just coming into the conversation. Seriously, NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO IS PORTRAYED, WHETHER BY THEIR OWN ACTIONS OR SOMEBODY ELSE'S, INTO AN EXTREMIST. It is NEVER a good idea. Sorry for the Capslock fairy but wow.

Rape culture: high amounts of not okay holy shit! BUUUUUT if someone is really that misinformed there's no alternative but to provide the correct information and conduct yourself appropriately. I promise you, if you start screaming at some person who says the victim of this horrible crime "asked for it", they're going to assume you're an extremist. All you've done is increase tension and probably make a scene, maybe even embarrass yourself. You're smarter than that. Think. Chew your words seven times before you spit them out. Consider your action.

You don't have to have been an Alisarian to get that? Really now. 

Group calls: This is what I call it when a Tumblr user assumes that one person's misconduct brands the entire culture/race/sex/religion/whatever as a fraud. "That guy said my skirt was too short! Men are suck fucking pricks they only think of themselves" is ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENT from "Wow, that girl is such a fucking bitch! How dare she tell me my music is bad!" or whatever. If you really are interested in getting women to seem equal (newsflash: we are), you have to start being REALISTIC. It's very unfair that women have faced a skewed perspective for a long time, yes, I really agree with that. But it's down to an "extremist" viewpoint again: there is a responsible and mature way to show you are passionate. That means boiling down your arguments to the main points, the part that really gets to the heart of the issue, but is still easy to follow; preferably to somebody without prejudices on said issue. By all means, have a rant with the girls now and again. JUST DON'T BE MAD WHEN (on the internet, for God's sake) SOMEBODY DISAGREES WITH THAT OPINION. You still have a chance to talk it over in a calm and reasonable manner.

If they have rebuttals (the polite and mature ones I'm not-so-subtly trying to drag you guys towards here), great! Even better! Because I KNOW that you've thought through your point of view before presenting it to others, you will have a great learning opportunity for the person you're talking to. Maybe even people who find that conversation afterwards.

If not, if something goes wrong, you have a viable frame of reference to improve how you are presenting your opinion to other people, and the experience to stay calm when your feathers get ruffled if it happens in the future.

I'm really not telling these groups not to stick to their guns. I'm just saying we shouldn't be so fast to draw them out in the first place: If you have a reason to say what YOU'RE saying, they have a reason to say what THEY'RE saying, too. Let's do our best to stay civil, please, guys.


Out.