So last night, Finley and I played Castle Malloy with Taylor and I. And then Katie and Finley and I played Castle Malloy, and then Katie and Taylor and I to finish off the night. Tar those horse-tile puzzles when they're unexpected, but thank goodness Katie's good at math.
Also, Katie wanted a guru last night. I wanted to, but it wasn't where my song was pulling me. Oddly, my song was pulling me towards myself, and Katie pushed a bit to have it so, I'd say. I told her about Evil, I told her about me. A lot about me, more than I think she's taken in one sitting, at least as an overview.
And she listened. I am not used to having friends listen about me, it made me feel guilty.
And I typed up this poetically-lacking description of why I disliked myself.
I don't know what I expected, really. Words? A letter? A typed response?
I didn't expect Katie to hold me until I fell asleep as a response. A very, very kind, unexpected, and comforting repsonse that I certainly didn't expect, not at all.
I fell asleep on Katie last night. I fell asleep on my friend and when I woke up, she was still here. Sometimes even those small miracles give me wings, and today, I am flying per that score of wings.
Somehow, it doesn't even matter, what's happening today. I'm still baffled. Baffled and in love with my heart-halves, totally, completely. Happy....
Sitting alone for that happiness seems a wicked waste, but there's now way around it and I smirk at those who'd cross me.
Go ahead and try! Go ahead!
I have a Katie, a Finley, and you will not stand in my way now.
For example.
"Payton?"
"Yes?" Yes, strange boy I don't even know.
"Will you tell your fucking sister that she should just leave Michael and I the Hell alone?" I focused on him. Felt cruelty, anger, sarcasm, ''games'', like in the Roses only he makes them up himself, and a misplaced belief in his own witticisms.
Ugh.
"Oh my God, I am not your messenger! Coward! Not even having the courage to face her yourself! You think I'll carry your weed-sucking mouth-words to her? Eh?!"
People looked at me odd. I could read it on their faces: Did Payton just speak? Loudly and with purpose? Did Payton just swear?
My heart,
you give me words.
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