I thought about what would happen if she went through with leaving today. This is what came out... I haven't cried for writing in a long while.
You were giving the stars of your heart
Those which engulf the weary souls:
You were giving the stars of your heart
And yet their shine was cold for me.
Companionship, so sweet a song to taste,
My empty-hearted star, my love!
We used to sing it often from the trust inside our souls;
The lucid warmth of human flesh gave us that subtle glow,
from closeness,
Embraced us for being alive together—
Oh, oh! The triumph of that precious life!
My soul, it would tousle your bright constellations
Gently and with tenderness,
like a tiny child, a rose’s petals, a lover’s hand
If only to bask you in soft, soft heart-light,
As good, true friends all want to do.
Yesterday, though, my friend and dream, your stars,
Your stars so bright, so clear
Refused to bask my heart-light,
No matter how soft, how livingly tender:
And I had no alternative
but to feel that happen.
I put on a mask again, last sun,
Oh, so suffocating in your presence!
So heart-wrenchingly necessary!
If I cannot touch you, companion,
Why give me the stars of your heart?
Yet I will forgive you
For you fill my life with stars—
Even if it’s tolerance, now
That you don’t need my help?
But harken now, for in these words do I implore:
Blacken not my lonely nights,
Nor take my stars from me;
Pray, take not my stars from me!
Not if they are yours.
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