Leona •
*sighs* I know.
I know.
I was just thinking a lot about tSoM today....
Jocelyn and Nikolai don't think it'll make a difference if I lose weight.
And I heard her sing, Katie. She's good.
She sang "hopelessly devoted to you" and she rocked it. She's completely confident. She can read music. She's had lead roles before.
I don't deserve it. I don't deserve that role.
Shhh it Nancy
1) You have a great voice
2) you've been cheated out of leads and thats sad
Leona •
1) so does she.
2) my past doesn't entitle me to a future.
I'll do the workout thing, but I need to think some more about the sound of Music.
Or maybe you don't need to think about it.
Go. Try out. Do your best.
Leona •
I'm trying to decide if there's a point.
If that doesn't work, there are loads of other shows you can do.
Working out is good for your health.
Auditioning help you practice your art
Leona •
*sighs* "Art", indeed.
When you don't get in you can be vidicated when you switch to rock river theatre guild?
Leona •
It won't be a "one or the other" choice, dear.
Both are guilty of what they accuse each other of doing.
Craig has done what's he's angry about to many, many people--students--with no approach to even an apology.
But I respect him. He made those choices for a reason.
I respect Jeannie, too.
The fact is, if I'd really blown them out of the water, they *would've* cast me.
And I have nobody to blame for that but myself...
*shrugs*
References and casting-couch DOES happen. In every theater group I've ever encountered, there have been unfair decisions.
But the fact is, I can't be sure I have the talent to overturn that unfair decision. So I get passed over, instead.
And I am very tired of that.
Give rock river a show
shot*
Give fact another shot.
Leona •
Of course. It goes without saying.
I may be bitterly disappointed when I don't get a role that I'm right for, but every actor and actress is. I'll still be there. I love doing it.
I'm not going to stamp my foot and throw a temper tantrum like a child, but I have to stop kidding myself that my effort makes a difference.
If it were just about talent, I would've been cast much more than I am. It isn't.
Being good and being there is some help, of course, but... I know better know.
*now
It isn't about fair.
So I can't say that it makes me feel like I'm more likely to receive the roles I want.
Because I'm working out, at least.
They don't care, and I have to get used to that. I'm not in their little niches yet.
I may never be, so I have to keep trying.
But I don't see how changing myself is going to help, Katie. The only person who really thinks I'm good is me.
If you were going to hire somebody for a job, you wouldn't pick somebody whose only reference was themselves, would you?
Just a thought.
I'm sorry... I know this upsets you. I won't talk about it anymore, okay?
Thank you for not giving up.
Thank you for still trying, for still perusing what you want.
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