Sometimes, I do things I am ashamed of.
Like using my words wrongly, or using me wrongly
but it's always for love, and that troubles me.

Finley, my finley
I miss you tonight.
I want your tender arms around me,
if only for tonight.

I wept when you did not appear
wept when dark and light weren't near
instead I found a friend from old
who has forgiven my 'treachery'.

I talked with him tonight, my Zach
my 'Siragon', my tempremence
and tasted the remembering of Roses on my tongue.

Fingering those threads of my life,
I sigh for them
I close my eyes, I hold my arms together
and I sleep.


I needed a half,
but a Rose found me instead.

Does that mean something?
Does it mean the Roses mean more to me than I thought?
Does that mean the Roses were both halves before I found what is precious to me?

I wept that I abandoned them today.
Wept and wept and wept for the people who said hello as soon as I opened msn,
like a flood in instants--none had forgotten me, no sir.
Not even my Ignio.... not my Michael....

I hold myself together,
and I sleep.

Please, give me one of you to hold soon. Katie or Finley, I don't care which, but soon, please?

And, preferably
both.


I'm selfish enough to ask before the bravery of my Roses flees me....


I hold myself together...
and I sleep.