Special

Two days ago, nobody was packed. Nobody, not even my mom. So I stayed up hours, finishing my room. I've got maybe three more boxes to pack, right? Three. Three at most.
Well, mom got home today. Taylor hadn't done her shit for the day, and it was my fault. Before she'd take me to class, I'd have to do all her work plus all of mine. Now normally I'd grumble about this and do it, except for the fact that I had class a half hour from the time she told me this.
It was, essentially, impossible.
I did what I could. I cleaned the disgusting bathroom (which I haven't been home enough to do, so it fell to Taylor and Kayrene who, predictably, did not do it at all), I packed the living room up except for one or two things, and did even more in my room. I'm nearly done with no help from anybody I've helped, and I'm really, really angry about it.
Furious.
Schultz has people EVERYWHERE helping her move. Katie can get people just as easily. Even Finley's dad, a recovered alcoholic with a limited social stature, has people helping him move right now. Not to mention all the time I gave to Nan and Derek when THEY moved.
Now, I don't expect anything from Schultz. Good God, the woman's getting surgery and has recently been in a car accident. Finley's Dad driving up from Beloit to help me? I don't expect that. He's going to school. Even Katie can give me a pat on the arm and say "Busy," and then walk off like she normally does. Whatever. Lauren McCann lives five hours away.
How many other people do I know that could have helped me? How many people have I helped with things for no other reason at all other than being asked, that they needed me, that are FUCKING RUNNING AWAY the MOMENT I need help with something? This isn't a Kitchen. I can't do anything but my room by myself. I need help. 
I need help. I shouldn't have to give anything to you for you to want to me helpful for me. Now, I don't help with stipulations, but humanity is disgusting me right now.
Oh, and my mom screamed at me about everything. How will Taylor do at Schuster's with her Epilepsy? How stupid I was to bring her. Why did I do that? Of course, she asked me, but now that it's gone wrong, it's totally my fault. How dare I wasn't working harder, because apparently two jobs and a full course schedule is not enough. I'm useless. I'm overweight. She wishes she hadn't had me. Why was I still standing there? I had work to do.
On and on and on.
I won't cry. I won't cry. I won't let her have that power. I'm in class now. I won't see Katie soon, won't see Finley soon. I'll have to be my own light. 

Nobody gives a fuck, either.

Nobody has the time to....
Don't cry, Payton. Don't cry....