Special

Mm. First days of work are vastly different experiences.

For example.

"You should really take off that ring, Payton. It'll cut straight through the gloves." I look at the glove box. They're thin and cheap, so Rhinne is right.

"No."

She stares at me, unused to the sharp edge from the unassuming new employee. "Take off the ring, Payton." This is death voice, I'm pretty sure; a couple heads snap, newer people step away a little without realizing it.

"No." 

Silence.

She stares at me, I stare right back.

"Fine. Let me show you how to check in."

People who are normally jerks can't be outright mean to me at work, but they can certainly make things more difficult for me. Some do, those few who take the time to talk to me are helpful and kind.

I hate this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Then, there's nothing I can do; I need that money. Finley-Katie-Sorceress-Costume, I chant mentally, over and over and over for my six-hour shift. Finley-Katie-Sorceress-Costume....

That night, I walk into my disheveled house, wonder why all the people who I've helped move can't spare some time for my room, think about all my new classes, all the friends who haven't bothered contacting me. Morgan ignoring me at the football game.

"I miss Schultz," I say to Finley as he's walking towards my door, and then I burst into tears.

Big tears. Shameful boo-hoos. I cry and cry and cry, hating that I can't have what I've always loved, hating everything. "You can't think of one good thing?" Finley asks me eventually, holding me close. I sob into his shirt, struggling to breathe, but I don't want to move from him.

"Don't go," I plead pitifully, "Please, please don't go." I snuggle my head into his chest, and his arms tighten.

"It's going to be okay, Payton," he promised. "It'll be okay, I swear." I hold him.

Only while you're here.

Only ever while they're here.