Special

You know,
my sun and moon lit me tonight
I was drawing my wand for a fight that wasn't there
realized Renee didn't believe in magic
I touched your hand, trying to be twilight
and found you were too bright with sun
that's okay.

Magic's in my heart
on my lips
in my words, my fingertips
so much in my heart
I am conflicted, I am confused
and I am lost
because there are two types of light from Heaven

I only need one,
but tonight I wanted to
I guess it's my fault my timing sucks
to want to spend time with you
really
rather than sitting in your living room.

Stupid, isn't it?

I had this idea where I was half-asleep
pretty sure you had already left
and for some reason, I was absolutely sure
you pressed your forehead against mine
and I smiled faintly and pressed a little closer to you
like we used to do for being happy together, safely
and you backed away
and you shimmed a little backword apologetically.

It made me happy, sad,
made me think of Quasimodo
because you are the gypsy, now
and I still have my wand,
my sun and moon
I tell you so often how much I love you two
but I cannot give you what is in my heart entirely
I cannot make you feel the types of Heaven's light
caring, knowing the entirety of my love for you
to know you are me, truly
you are my sun, my moon....


Sun
made for laughter, love
cuddling for companionship
occasional deep thoughts, feelings
teaching, love and letting go
you touch my left side of my heart
you are my Wild, and you, alone
know the meaning of that term
you are my Daring, modern self
you are the tingling in my fear
and you will protect me with more than
I think you know, sometimes
or maybe that's just me; both are plausible...
you are the fingertips of dawn on my soul
a never-fading hand print on my life
I love you.
It's not right for me to say it
and I'm always worried influence, experience will warp it into something wrong
I love you.

Sunlight, I live for you
and you are in my singing heart.


Moon
you are the future for me
you are Knighthood, you are courage
you protect me from myself
and I protect you from others
you know what I need to say and hear
it in your deep, depthful soul
and give it back to me when my tears
are gold from the touch of sunlight
when my skin is warm from it
you cool it down, you make me safe and happy
you are more than Cae'non
you are Magic, moonlight
you are the cadences inside my heart
inside my heart, the cadences you are
from what I fear to lose, you keep it close for me
moon-light....

My moon,
I live to love you
you live inside my magic heart.


I need both of you
but this is not a love-song
this is not a ballad,
a funeral march, a dirge
it is none of those things.

I am giving you who I am
in this post
and it is so hard to say that this is it
you are my sun, my moon
and if you knew each other
you'd both learn who I really am.

I can't say it, for the tears in my blue eyes
(they're blue, today)
I can feel it from the deepest part of me, however
perhaps you will listen
and one thread of your fate will wrap around my heart
into your heart
and you will feel
how much I will love you
as close to forever
as Self can ever manage I will love you.


I.... love.... you.


Please understand,
please open your heart and understand
for me?


I....


love....


you.....