So today, we worked on the scrap-book for Schultz. At least, those few loyal enough to show, those few un-arrogant enough to believe that they belonged among the ranks of those who love her for the miracle she is.... my facebook friend, Schultz.
My page has a hand-drawn fortuneteller (in the proper costume, of course). There's a sun, patterned with a Celtic design. Sprigs of herbs hang from the wall, surrounded by lanterns, fine glass, and buttons of three shades of green. In typed and printed letters, there are two things written: a fae blessing (the sunlight one from my gmail and Rath and Ruins), and a verse from Heart Song.
We worked at Hannah Nathan's house. There's a sweetness to the Nathan, a simple beauty I deeply admire and even envy. She's a deeply ''go with the flow'' type of person. So when I invited her over for guitar hero and bones and fun, she agreed, and I was pretty over the moon about it. She and I were talking about fantasy and romance and Wicked Lovely and Tithe and Ironside, Valiant, a Countess below stairs...
Per result, the wild streak in me woke up, right and proper quick--and I used double negatives, and I walked with that wicked, wild grace of those reckless DnD nymphs, and I felt beautiful. Wild--free--beautiful.
And Hannah invited us to go flocking. I agreed with a grin to change from my blue dress, changing into white shorts and a black top--and also, my wolf necklace....
And wings.
Black wings.
Mine.
They cavorted as I moved, twitching at the air as though to prick it into servility, and I grabbed my Schuster's hat and jammed it on my warm yellow hair....
And you see, this is the difference between people like my theatre family--my dear, dear Hannah--and my family.
Juliette said, "Payton, what the fuck are you wearing?"
And Hannah said, "Do you have another cloak?"
Yes, Hannah. I have three cloaks and four more hats.
I raced into my room, grabbing the black cloak made of spiderwebs, and a red one for Juliette that sparkled like Riding hood's promise.
So adorned, the three of us crammed illegally into Hannah's car--Juliette on my lap, Hannah driving, Flamingos enjoying the sexy faerie in the front--and we drove around, got lost, swapped ghost stories that ended in much clown laughter and general real laughs from my friend and my cousin.
I was happy. I was wild, and lovely, and happy. When I put in that letter reading that we'd flocked those two houses, I bowed the Eliac bow.
There was a bounce in my step like I were magic, and I wasn't...
"Payton doesn't live in the world we do... she lives in her own, which is way, way better than ours."
"Would you stop pinching my ass cheeks with your thighs!"
"Fuck your ducks."
"I love this cape! I've never worn one before {It's a cloak.} --Cloak, whatever! I like it. It's swishy. "
I was happy. I am happy. I have.... two friends! Katie AND Hannah! Both reasonably happy! Both happy with a Wild Payton.
I don't know if I can count Kate.... or even if she wants me to. I picked out my present for her, though. Hope she's fond of Peacocks....
I am wearing those wings with my strap-fall dress, the red one, at the next opportunity. I might even get some fake extensions in my hair for the occasion from hot topic or something....
Those wings.... Made me feel.... !
I don't know. I don't know what I felt.
But I was.... alive..... again!
Those silly, drooping wings....
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