Special: "The Cinderella Service"

Yesterday, I was talking to Jess' beautiful mother--did I mention Jess seems to really like me? Pft. If all I need to do is clean to make new friends, I'll have an army in no time--and she decided I should have a forty-five-dollar-an-hour cleaning service. She's thinking something titled "Payton XTREME Cleaning(!!) She'll EXTREME Clean your kitchen(!!)", whereas I'm thinking more, "The Cinderella service: for the period AFTER the ball" type of thing.... but sweet. Very sweet. And I don't think I'll charge forty-five, either. I'll give twenty.. ten! Ten per hour, and charge an extra hug and friendship for life advice.

If I ever clean to work my board, it will be to love new people....

Katie offered to me to be her roommate if I get a stable job (and presumably a car) in the foreseeable future. My mind was boggled with the possibility of this.... starting to look at jobs today, including at Fireside, Walmart, Kmart.... anything but fast food unless if it's a privately owned business. I know it's odd to have standards to look at a job, but even minimum wage is three hundred odd dollars a month for two nights a week.... with my five hundred and ten dollar total from Graduation gifts, it'll do me right. As for driving... with Monahan dead, I have no idea what to do. A lot of that graduation money might go to me, taking that class again just to prove I can pass the test AGAIN, and signing up for triple AAA. Fine, all right, three hundred dollars.... but I need to drive, I need a car, I need a job.

I can't lollygag this summer away as I have the ones before it. This summer, I strive to accomplish purpose.... and possibly a roommate. Possibly moving out. Yes, it's far-flung, Katie could choose, for her roommates, a dozen people from that pool.... still. It's a dream worth working for. I can adopt Katie as my Pseudo-daughter, like I've adopted Hannah, if only in very rare ways like keeping house and buckling on the school stuff once in awhile. Maternal....

I like feeling like a mother. I feel like that when I'm with Hannah, because she looks up to me (which is extremely odd but evidently plausible).

So today, I'm looking at job applications. I feel like the job is the most achieveable of the three.

To be honest... I'm not sure if I want to go to school right away until those things are done. I don't want any more education with my parents. It's extremely wrong of me, I know, not to take advantage of the housing offered.... be that as it may, I am tired of being woken by children, whining to do to this or that. Tired of Pops hounding me for something I need to do or he'll be angry, tired of playing Switzerland for those two, tired of trying hard and then being shot down by my mother.

I don't like the person I am when I'm with them. I really don't. It'll get better over time, but right now?

I need to get out of here. And if I can live with someone like Katie.... so more the better.

God, please...

Can you metaphysically clean Cinderella's kitchen?

Love you.

Amen.


P.S. Cinderella--hmm.... I could grow to like that nickname...