Special

I've never had a person
who broke my heart twice
after I'd given them a second chance
not since Ryan.

I heard the words, "I love you"
mixed with "I don't trust you like you want"
and "you can't fix me, Payton."

One misplaced assumption on top of another
means tears that I cannot repress,
not even when you wanted me too.

My heart is lost,
and my heart gets conflicted, and wraps around those toils
you say it, Schultz says it, and that is quite true.

There are things you miss, however.
How happy I am.
How easy it is for me to make others smile
the beauty in my voice for knowing what I say is true.

Your lack of trust,
of faith
does not make my heart less true,
or even less willing to sing for you.

But you made me cry
after I gave you my heart again
you took it and didn't do anything with it...

you didn't want it at all.

I could do nothing different,
I did exactly what you wanted
and now, we are "petty friends"
whatever that means, to you.

"You can't fix me, Payton. It's not your job!"

"I've never met someone who sacrificed their own feelings for mine before. I don't like it, I want to help you. Stop it!"

"Why are you so agreeable? Stop it!"



I told you about the Roses,
showed you their thorns, told my story,
confused you, explained myself
and I tried to be normal.

You were the one
who was searching last night.

Not me.

I wanted to the whole night,
and I did not
and you wanted me to want to
and you kicked me for it.

I'll tell you a secret, though?

I still love you.


Your pain will always
be worth my tears,
Kate Murley.

And I will not let go....





Unless you want me to.
Agreeable, remember?