In Elvish, the word for Envy is 'Rutha'.
I have an Envy problem.
When I was alone
when I didn't have friends
it was easy to ignore the negative feelings,
aside from the fact I hated being lonely.
Now I can't.
I see someone else with something I want,
realize I'm awesome,
and wish it were me, instead.
Only in very specific cases, but it's there.
Examples?
One friend fell in love with the wrong person.
I watch the struggle and sigh in envy.
Millionaire's children never need to work for their livelihoods,
small children don't have diabetes, all that shit.
I think of my selfishness
and I am ashamed.
For all my good qualities
I have more evil than I like to admit.
Even here.
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