Special

My blog post today is a little early today. And by a little early, I mean seven fifty in the morning. I'm staying home sick from school.... Mom looked at me and said I looked like I could die any second. Should probably stay home, okay, sweetie? Okay, mom. See you soon.


To computer.


I was thinking about that vampire when she said it. No, no, no Rose bullshit. I had a nightmare. But it was different than other nightmares have been. Normally, my nightmares don't recall as clearly.... don't make my heart rush so much I can feel it in my dream.... don't cause sweat. Katie having me read that book certainly struck me, but more with things I've done wrong than right. I have to be doing it wrong, if it isn't like it is in the book. I mean, yeah, I only lost my virginity after I was Engaged, but...

I caused drama in a church, for Heaven's sake (Excuse the pun). As a result, I have troubled dreams.

Let me tell you about it.

In a strange kingdom, and also university, I'm serving the Disney Princes and Princesses. But with perks; we're well liked, and so on. One day, on our vacation, mom and I stumble into a bathroom she has to use, and I notice a corridor. The bathroom's like a cave; literally decorated. I wait in a charming, well-lit cave area, thinking how funny and different it is... and suddenly, dummies appear. Everywhere. I start screaming, (I hate dummies, did you know that? Especially Halloween ones... my mind's eye makes them move... imagine their silent figures walking...) Mom comes for me, tells me to grow up, what dummies?

And indeed, they're gone. She goes back to business... and I fall onto a black thing. It looks like a big metal cage. It seems to be a ride, there's a sign pointing at it reading, 'continue'. I feel a sigh of relief, though I'm still terrified. I can just close my eyes, wait for it to be over... probably have some nightmares. Irony. But it doesn't. When I get to the top, I'm a little girl again, and there are little children playing. Were they lured, too?

Anyway, there's a carnival in town. Bright, garish tents everywhere, well-dressed monsters drinking wine.. The other monsters smile to one another, let them be noticed by we dumb kids, snicker. They'll get them all later. Some, they pick up right away. A little girl with blond curls and a pink jacket with a white stripe, sucking her thumb.

Kid-me pretends to fit in, and when she is caught, a vampire with a square jaw and a goatee comes. His clothes are fine; a black opera cape with a flowing white undershirt and blood-red vest with gold trimmings, black leg-covers that fit him well, shiny shoes. His ear-length hair is a combination of grey and blond, but I don't think it'll change... I don't want it to. What I really remember are his eyes, though... they were blue with a red ringlet. It's so weird to remember dreams this vividly....

He adopts me. The other children have presumably been eaten.

The next ''scene'' is an adult me... pale-skinned and somehow slim... beautiful. Grey eyes like sun-storms, my hair curled and clean, tied back with my red ribbon in a pony tail... I'm clad in a beautiful outfit, too, one I want really badly. It's a grey skirt with ruffles that fits me like nothing.... a red corset-top with black lace.

Father-vampire is talking to me. I can't remember his name, but I remember feeling a deep and respecting love when I saw his face. He takes me in his arms and kisses my neck gently. And suddenly, it gets more urgent.... the hand slipping towards my corset... We have sex. Not kinky-vampire sex, either. Suave gentlemen sex. Bond sex. In his coffin. ....Apparently my mind *does* work in those weird stereotypes...

When we wake up, we're back in the Mom bathroom. "Time to die, my love," he tells me, and dream-me shivers.

"No!" I beg him, "Please, (name use here, I remember that... what was his name? I bet it was perfect. Um... wait! I've got it!)  Gabriel.... let me live..." I trace my fingers over his jaw, down his neck.... over his chest (his shirt isn't buttoned yet) "I want to live, Gabriel. I want to feel blood in your arms...." (For record, blood does not turn me on. I'm attributing this to the whole 'raised by vampires in an alternate universe' thing)

He kisses my neck again, running long fingers down my spine before his sexy voice whispers, "I'll need a substitute then, my love, my darling.."

"I'll do anything," I whisper back, "Anything."

I leave--finding my mother looking for me.

"Where have *you* been?" she snaps, not noticing I'm beautiful now, not noticing my new clothes; "I've been looking for ten minutes."

Ten minutes? Huh. Make that a time-altered alternate universe, apparently.

It's so weird I remember it all this fluently... normally I don't. I remember what woke me up, but not this. Not things like... this. I walk out and find.... Brodi. With the rest of Chamber choir, there to sing; but others are protesting for the union, noticeably Conner Staples, Ben Braun, Mama Ihde, Betsy Larson... all clad in a beautiful blue.

I follow. Finley finds me and is struck by my changes, kisses me, leaves to figure it out....and I find Kate and Katie, together but not over-friend happy about it. I lean over and kiss Kate with vampire-awesome... man was that weird... and then take her hand and put it in Katie's, pat her cheek. Kate turns slowly to her heart, kisses a tear-struck Katie....

I find Brodi. I lead her back; Gabriel eats her after the seduction.... she begs him to do it, and I slowly back away.

"Come," he says, and when he says it, his voice is melting, like honey, like velvet.... and I obey. He reaches for me, pulls me in his fine, ebony coffin.

"I love you," I say.

His lips find my neck; my eyes close, and then, in a whisper, "But unfortunately... you have to die."

My eyes snap open, first in the dream and then---

My phone rings in real life. I touch my face when I wake up, checking if it's smooth... if my hands are pale white... touch my stomach, much larger than my dream form, and bite back tears. It's just a dream... just a dream...

Go to school?

Not today.