Today, I'm going to write some nice things about Kate. She wore pink today. I wonder if that means she, too, is trying to improve her soul-life? I'd tell her it's a good thing to try, but I think she'd hit me for it... doesn't really seem the type to accept advice, so far. I've even decided what to do about her... and me. You know, the 'ugh, Payton!' thing? Yeah. I think I'm going to just... just walk up to her and say, "Look, I just want to be your friend. I don't know about how to say that, so maybe I oughta just say it: I want to be your friend. I want to help you when you're down, and I think you might be right now. I just want you to know that you can trust me."
Something like that. She'd listen. There's a possibility she'd forget and even disregard, even roll her eyes like Schultz has when she graces me that common lie ("I'm fine"), but that's okay. All I can do is try... and I think, sometimes, all she needs is a real friend... someone to talk to. Not that her friends aren't real, but more I'm a different type of friend than a lot of people have. She's probably under a lot of pressure. Her life is full, from that pressure... from trying to live up to herself all the time, and not think about how (I'm pretty sure) she's been hurt in the past, aside from... from Katie, and what they could have had together.
Oh, Love. How fickle thou art!
I've got to make this okay. I just want a little more happiness. I just want Kate to know that there are good qualities about her, and she ignores them. But I won't tell her. She doesn't want that... I'll just show her. One good moment at a time.
Let me be her friend, God.
Please?
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